


i'm shameless, oh honey i don't have a prayer

by notthebigspoon



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-02 01:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buster wants to shake Tim until he comes to his senses. He wants to punch him until he comes to his senses. Not that he necessarily is out of his senses. Buster supposes it’s only fair to want the best deal possible and if Tim can get more money elsewhere, that’s fair. The entire Bay Area and beyond will hate him for it but it’s fair. And Buster will have lost his chance and that <i>isn’t</i> fair. The thought of playing on a team without Tim there with him brings a wave of nausea that Buster often finds it impossible to stifle.</p><p>Title taken from Shameless by Garth Brooks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm shameless, oh honey i don't have a prayer

Buster wants to shake Tim until he comes to his senses. He wants to punch him until he comes to his senses. Not that he necessarily is out of his senses. Buster supposes it’s only fair to want the best deal possible and if Tim can get more money elsewhere, that’s fair. The entire Bay Area and beyond will hate him for it but it’s fair. And Buster will have lost his chance and that _isn’t_ fair. The thought of playing on a team without Tim there with him brings a wave of nausea that Buster often finds it impossible to stifle.

The worse part is that he’s not in any position to try and convince Tim to stay. They’ve always been friendly but they’ve never been close and somehow, they grew even further apart when Buster wasn’t catching him. He’s still not sure what he ever did wrong for Tim to abruptly say he didn’t want to throw to Buster. The last time they had any real contact was when he hugged Tim after the no hitter. Tim would have let anyone hug him though. After that, though, it was back to ignoring Buster.

Since his only option is to suffer in silence, he spends the first few weeks of the offseason holed up in his house wearing sweatpants, eating cupcakes, watching Mean Girls and obsessively trolling the internet for word of Tim’s potential re-signing. He’s on the tail end of the first season of Haven and thinking about making a ‘Cupcake Cave’ sign for the living room when his phone starts ringing and skidding across his desk.

He scrambles across the room, falling on his face two times in the process and almost killing his cat. He doesn’t bother getting up the second time, blindly reaches up onto his desk and snatches his phone off of it. A look into his Google Alerts brings up half a dozen different articles about Tim re-signing for a two year deal. Buster is completely unashamed of the scream of joy he unleashes.

Explaining to the considered neighbor that dashed over when he heard Buster screaming that he’s fine and three more cupcakes later, it occurs to Buster that in spite of all of his joy, this doesn’t really mean anything for him. After all, he can’t exactly call Tim. The ‘Glad you’re coming you’re back.’ text is one that anyone on the team might send. Tim’s simple ‘Thanks man.’ followed by nothing else, just one more sign that Buster doesn’t exist in Tim’s world. Might as well be furniture. He calls the only person who will listen.

“You’re an idiot.”

Okay, so Madison isn’t exactly the sympathetic ear most people wish for but he’s what Buster has at his disposal.

He’s also extremely unhelpful. He’s known about Buster’s crush since almost before Buster knew about it. He’s deep in the realm of ‘I do not approve of this shit’ and only refrains from saying so because he would enjoy the potential fallout. Ali is mildly more helpful. Mildly. At least, she gets onto Madison and smacks the shit out of him whenever he rides Buster too hard about his supposed idiocy. Ali is the one to encourage Buster to call Tim.

Buster does not think this is a good idea. Tim didn’t answer Buster’s message and the last time Buster did call him, he didn’t answer, nor did he ever call Buster back. That wasn’t even something that Buster had to deal with in high school. Jesus Christ, what if Tim is the Regina George of the Giants? He’s beautiful, he’s perfect, he can be a sassy little bitch and Buster would be fucking surprised if he’s fucked John Stamos.

That was a lot of swears. Buster wonders if his defense mechanism is showing.

That’s okay. He’s stressed out. Overwrought. He is suffering from an extreme mental break. That’s the only reason that he would drive to Atlanta and buy a ticket to Seattle. He doesn’t even know for certain that Tim is in Seattle. And on top of that, he doesn’t know where Tim lives. He texts Pablo for the address and that comes up dry. Then he texts Chris Stewart and gets an answer two seconds later tagged with a smiley face. Buster wonders if the rumors were true.

Tim’s building is… nice isn’t quite the word. And it’s secured like Fort Knox. Buster has to spend two grand in bribes just to get into an elevator and then another five hundred to get the code to go up to Tim’s floor. It’s the biggest waste of money Buster has ever participated in and he doesn’t regret any single bit of it. Back to that insanity thing. Madison is never going to let him hear the end of it and even Ali isn’t going to approve of this one.

By the time Buster feels like he’s come to his senses and he’s going to turn back, go home and send five grand to St. Jude’s to make up for his waste, it’s too late. He’s already hit Tim’s doorbell and the door is starting to open.

“... Posey? The fuck are you doing here? Fucking shit, you’re puddling on the floor, Jesus man. It’s pouring outside, did you _walk_? Really, what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I… have no idea.” Buster blurts out. “This is probably the second dumbest thing I’ve ever done. The first dumbest was this guy in high school named Jack but that doesn’t really have anything to do with this other than that he was really dumb and oh god, will you please just shut me up now?”

Tim stares. He’s looking at Buster as if he’s from another planet and Buster feels more and more foolish with each passing second. “Are you high?”

“Maybe.” Buster answers miserably. He’s starting to shiver, the chill air coming out from Tim’s apartment and pushing through his sopping wet clothes. It’s freezing outside, why the hell would Tim have the AC on? He’s Tim Lincecum, of course he would. Tim Lincecum is perfect and contradictory. “I don’t know what I’m doing, man. I wanted to beg you to re-sign but I knew I had no right to plead and then I wanted to tell you happy I was that you were staying and there wasn’t any point in that either because I might as well be furniture, for all that I exist to you. I guess… I guess I just wanted you to notice me.”

“Just… look, come in here before you die of pneumonia or some shit.” Tim sighs. He looks agitated and put upon and Buster just wishes he was anywhere in the world but here.

Even so, he’s freezing and his teeth are chattering and entering Tim’s icebox of an apartment doesn’t help. He’s led through a total bachelor pad that’s dominated by the massive TV and couch, taken to massive bathroom. Tim disappears for a minute, comes back and thumps a set of clothing onto the counter. He looks at Buster for a long moment before sighing and shaking his head, ordering him to dry off and change.. He slams the door behind him.

Buster sheds his soaking wet clothing, wrings the water out of them and drapes them over the edge of the bathtub. It takes two towels to dry him and he chunks them into the hamper, stares at the pile of clothing on the counter. How would Tim have clothes that would possibly fit Buster. Who did they belong to before? Were they a boyfriend’s? Were Chris Stewart’s? Or Monell’s? Buster heard that rumor. Maybe even Eli Whiteside… maybe not Eli Whiteside. Tim wouldn’t still be breathing if it had been Whiteside.

They don’t quite fit. The track pants are a little too big and the shirt a little too tight. He plucks at one of the sleeves as he shuffles down the hall, following the sound of Will Ferrell’s voice. Tim is slouched on the couch with a scowl, arms crossed over his chest. Buster tries to offer him an awkward smile but all it does is make Tim scowl harder. Buster stares at the floor as he sits down.

“Semi-Pro… nice.”

“Save it.” Tim mutters. “Is this some sort of joke?”

Buster blinks. “What?”

“What are you doing here? Who fucking paid you?”

“ _What_?” Buster demands. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with _me_?” Tim demands, voice almost a shriek. “I spend the past four seasons wishing you would look my fucking way. You smile and you hug me and you act like I’m your friend and you fucking torture me for four years! And then… then… then they _bribe_ you to come out here or some shit, is that it? Maybe if he’s getting laid he’ll perform! Maybe he’ll sign for less money next time, if there _is_ a next time!”

Buster does not know what to do with this information. He’s an intelligent person but right now he feels like the biggest idiot on the planet. Hell, they’re both idiots, pining after each other all this time and neither of them realizing that the other feels the exact same way. He runs his hands through his hair, tugs at it before shaking his head and stalking over to Tim. The older man is still mid rant about Buster being some sort of southern carrot dangling on a stick when Buster grabs a fistful of his shirt and yanks him into a bruising kiss.

Tim grows quiet in an instant, melting back into the couch and staring up at Buster with wide eyes. “... _oh_.”

“Yeah. Oh.” Buster says slowly, dropping down onto the couch next to him. “I’ve kind of spent the past four years pining after you too so um… maybe, maybe you could order food and we could watch a less raunchy movie and try to do this like two human beings with at least one brain between us.”

“Thai food?”

“Hell no.”

“Pizza?”

“Better.”

“Buster-”

“Tim. Order dinner.”

“... okay.”


End file.
